Duality…

I like really cheesy horror films, and I, generally, tend to root for the monster. I FEEL like the monster a lot of times. Shrinks usually have something to say about it when I refer to myself as a Monster in a Cave. I get their point, but it always falls a bit short of my experience. If you are always calling yourself a monster, then you are embracing that manifestation and you will be pigeonholed into being a monster. But, when I go out into the world, I just don’t want to be what being the Not Monster entails. 
I realize that it’s not functional. This is why there are Shrinks and I have had some of them. I can’t imagine a world full of Monsters- how horrible that would be! The only thing harder than being the Monster, is being the person who has to deal with the Monster during particularly monstrous times. Okay, I am discounting that the Not Monster can always leave the room and get away from the Monster in most cases, which, some days, would be the Monster’s greatest dream. 
This is a professional website. But, I also did not want it to become an inauthentic place, either. It is, hopefully, a place for both Monsters and Not Monsters. But, let’s just establish that there is a Monster, and that Monster has the sneaking feeling that there are a bunch of other Monsters just trying to find a way to make it work in a world that can be very unfriendly to Monsters, who may be doing a much better job of walking among it who, also, might know exactly what I am talking about here… and are willing to forgive a very badly run-on sentence (Jebediah is going to take particular offense to this, I would imagine). 
I’m big into “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”. If my teeth ever go bad, I am just waiting to get a set of fangs. I love haunted houses in their off hours. Honestly, I don’t like Things jumping out at me; I want to go have a drink with Things and talk about life. I like to picnic in the dark, abandoned places with the severed heads and the entrails. God, I find those much more comfortable places than the Not Monster places.
But, I am also a big Old Cemetery nerd. I am aware of the bad reputation that’s been given to those of us Monsters who walk that line when they are found wandering in these beautiful, old places. It’s a stereotype that we’re up to no good. 
Sure, I wish someone would crawl up out of there and lurch off through the gates, back to their unsuspecting lives. However, what I really see in there is the repose of our actual history… a stitch in the cloth of the area in which I stand, breathing. 
Go in there sometime. Actually stand there and think about it. It’s a lot different actually being there, seeing the names, seeing how people are represented after their passing. Customs are fascinating, I think. I have been in many different types of memorial gardens and the color an tone of a community comes through, for sure. Each spot in these places was an actual person. You have no way of telling if it was some stodgy, old bast**d that you really couldn’t stand, or if it was the coolest person that you would ever hope to know. 
Get some age on you, too, and see how the nature of your own life changes and who and how people know you. The older you get, the more profound your link with people who knew you when you were young is. They become the keepers of your youth. The only way to know, outside of coming across some serious journaling, is to find someone who actually knew these rascals and have stories to tell. This is going to be Us one day. 
You can actually be two sides of the coin: both the goofball horror freak AND the champion of honoring the past. 
Maybe I should make a shirt about that. it might help when I’m out there wandering around, looking like burnt Hell.

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